Finding Sacred Spaces to heal

I am heading to a mindfulness retreat this weekend where I am the guest. This is very new to me. I often find myself as the host or teaching at retreats. So, to come with no expectations, but to see what will unravel and pour out is a gift. I know the hosts of the retreat, but I have no idea who is attending. And I think I like that the best. This is a weekend for me. Because if I am honest, I am grieving. It's been a hard year for my family and the level of space I have held for others has been immense. This past year, I lost my stepfather, and along with his loss came the heartbreak of watching my mom move into a new normal. It meant saying goodbye to a home she lived in for nearly forty years and moving closer to me. There was lots of legal work, physical work, and emotional work. My beloved Uncle passed while I was away for a weekend this past April. He was always someone I could depend on during some very tough challenging years as a single mom. And I pray that I was there for him in ways he needed at the end. The grief is real. Then before Christmas my ex-father-n-law who I have had a wonderful relationship with even twenty plus years post-divorce passed away. I navigated trying to be a support to my daughter as she experienced such a loss. Loss is never easy, and each relationship where love is involved is unique and special. Which means the grieving process ebbs and flows. And when you are holding space for others as they navigate their new normal or feel their grief our own grief can be buried. For me, it's not intentional to bury the grief, but it's been survival.

Driving to work this week, I was reminded that I have the beautiful opportunity to rest, journal, meditate, and grieve this weekend in however I need too. I am grateful for this opportunity for healing and space. I ran out for a quick bite to eat at lunch this week, and while sitting in the booth I couldn't help but overhear part of a conversation a woman was having. She just lost her husband of fifty-four years. Grief. How beautiful, that is in this small cafe she found the comfort of the wait staff and then a guest who joined her.

I didn't think I was going away this weekend to heal from grief. But, as I am shifting into the weekend the emotions came to the surface in a car ride and then in a small cafe.

Sacred spaces can be found wherever we feel safe. This can be our car, home, a small cafe, a mindfulness retreat, or anywhere that feels open and welcoming.

This is not where I thought the blog was going...................but that is grief. It's real. Its raw. Its unpredictable.